Entry #2 : Let's go to Gotham Pt1 --Nick's Place

So a few things happened since I first picked up the pen.Some good some bad and others that just left me confused…like that New Years party in Gotham…and when I went to Nick’s place.

The Voice had given me the address to Nick’s place and told me to leave the lighters there before cryptically telling me”I’d find out what I needed to know there”.It also said I’d have to figure out how to get into that rather exclusive party hosted by Bruce Wayne himself because apparently I’m good at that sort of thing.

-The moment I set foot in Gotham,I felt the pull of darkness,like it wanted to swallow me whole.Something in me,not  quite nostalgia,and not quit memory,both maybe…it told me that this was a haven of madness. As I walked it’s streets,I could feel lost souls calling out to me,hear screams down allies and even  see the shadows of a bat on the walls…and I knew the city belonged to the bat.

 

This is the nice picture of Gotham City on their  website....

  ...and this is what the place actually looks like...lovely,isn't it?

Beyond that,I swear on my soul I could feel eyes on me,eyes that  seemed  one with Gotham City.

I let my feet carry me down the streets until I reached an alley near some abandoned apartments and quite literally heard the sound of something metal hitting the ground,feet scamper.Shook up,I took a peek to see if I was alone--Yes,and no. No one was there now,but I could feel the souls that got lost in Crime Alley and  continued to haunt the place--I wanted to go in,find out more,but  that  wasn’t my mission now,another time perhaps …I just knew I’d be returning there,it was inevitable.

Anyway…Nick’s place.

The Voice was right when it said I’d find the answers I needed there,because Nick was a peculiar and paranoid man,and a very smart one.His apartment was set upon  by a lock spell that only those he allowed in could or even would want to enter.And for some unknown reason,I’m one of those people.But  I’m not an idiot  and I wanted myself to be as obscure as possible,s I conjured up a spell that I somehow remember,that would temporarily allow me to become a ghost for a limited time--so I needed to work fast,which was hardly easy.

When I said that Nick was paranoid,well,this is why....

 I found out  a few things there,like the fact that super humans called ‘metahumans’ exist,that there are  superheroes out there--yes,like you read in those little books as a kid,it’s a thing now and there are a shitload of mystics,mages,demons,conjurers and other dark beings that haunt this world.And to combat that,he found ways to protect himself from these people-him and “Johnny”.

I flipped through his notes for a bit,see what was there,tooks some pictures,even busted out a spell to cop it down,because this was good shit,like a survival guide really.

(Funny note...Batman the protector of Gotham City is in the unknown box with a bloody question mark over his head because according to Nick he's equally smart ,equally paranoid if not  more so than Nick himself.He also marked Nightwing,who's identity is Dick Grayson--Zatanna's ex and one of the people Nick personally knows-- he will likely be there at the party--and it says "Do Not Engage" and to "Avoid Suspect Behavior"--that tells me that he's going to be watching  me the moment I set foot in the place.)

(There's also an unknown new face in  Gotham known  as the Red Hood...and  let's just say I  hope  I don't have a run in with him.While most supers play nice and villains gloat,this bastard shoots  first and maybe ask  questions if you survive it.Also ,under "Do Not Engage"....useful because it looks like I'll be here for a while.)

It was all fascinating really...Nick and this "Johnny" had managed to work out the likely identities of most of the  crazies masquerading 'round in costumes,the  alleged heroes and villains...some seemed legit,others farfetched but still--those two  blokes managed to pin down so much information on these people and whatnot that it was insanity.

And I thought I was paranoid!

But it was only  after I went through one of the particular notebooks that I came to a startling revelation...

I'm Johnny...the guy helping Nick with all this was ME.

 The handwriting,the diction and I remember sitting n   the desk and bitching about the coffee he gave me and Nick’s voice saying--
 “So what if they've got super powers,we  got magic that can do em’ all in Johnny.Hell…I think I’ve actually found something on kryptonian magic,so you know what that means…It’s a dangerous world, out there .You gotta protect yourself,right?”…I remember his voice,his smile,hand on my shoulder,a shrug and myself saying   

“Fine…but we  better hide it from Zee,she’ll throw a bloody fit”….

And I realized then that Nick and I were friends…Nick and I were friends ,like brothers maybe for how close we were.

We even worked on projects and experiments,invented spells and wrote a grimoire together (not  that I found said book…it’s mentioned in Nick’s notes,but he likely has it wherever he is) .

I also know Zee was Zatanna,so it's utterly confirmed that we knew each other too… we were all close…I have clothes that were still in Nick’s (so does Zatanna) and this coat…it’s Nick’s coat.I had one like this I think,but the one I wear most of the time now is his…his bloody name’s on the tag,why I didn’t check I don’t know,why I feel so at home in it I don’t know…I left with just as man questions as answers,the biggest question being,if I had friends and people close to me,if I was in caring hands,why would I try to kill myself? What happened to me that was so bad that I’d throw my life away like this,when I had Nick in my corner? And conversely…why didn’t he stop me? Why didn’t anyone stop me? Did he know? Did he and I have a falling out?

The suicidal teenager in me tells me that nobody ever knows when you’re ready to go…but some other voice tells me Nick would know and Nick would care maybe…did something happen to him?

And this place seems to have been deserted for some time…there’s a cup of stale coffee on the table,roaches stated to show up,and I could drag my finger through dust…where was Nick?

I left his place and left the lighter right there in a place he could find.I also wrote a note telling him I’d been there and telling him that I needed his help,hoping maybe,something would come of it.

The only person who knew these answers would have to be Zatanna whom I would meet soon.

But I never got to get everything out of her see,because of course it couldn’t just be a regular bloody New Years Party,no,demon had to show up and spoil the fun.

Just as well though,it wouldn’t be the first or last time I fought the forces of  darkness,that was one thing I knew for sure.

Entry # 1 :How it began

Remember when I mentioned how everything went sideways before ?Well it turns out shit was so bad I had no memory of it  and even now,I don't think I got even   half of the story.But,I will tell you how things went for me recently and where I am now--right now I'm on a train on my way to Gotham City to meet a lovely young up and coming Stage magician named Zatanna Zatara to  bring in the New Years with her.Apparently she  was  someone I use to know.

I don't remember this.

What I do remember  though is some interesting things that happened as  of last  week since I wrote in my journal .

From what   I know  now,some cosmic event  happened and  now I'm pretty fucked in the head ,covered in runes and well,as it turns out,I'm a dark magician  of some sort,which makes sense considering the fact I dabbled like crazy with my mates cross pond. How I know? I woke up in a strange place with an endless number of bloody rooms,a labyrinth of a place called "The House of Mystery".And  the great part is the bloody place is haunted by the ghost of some bloke who claimed we use to know each other ...

Anyway ,it all started when I woke up alone and naked in a room to a strange voice of some bloke callin "John,John,wake up".And it was urgent,like maybe it was worried...HE was worried... like maybe something happened to me something bad and that thought alone was enough to have my heart beatin.Things got worse when I realized I was right in the middle of a summoning circle.There were lit candles,blood sigils, even human bones about and I completely lost my shit.Because I've done things like this ,seen these things before...but to have it happen to ME is another story altogether.

Thinking about it when i write now still frightens me.

That and that before then,there was void,nothingness,screams and silence,so deadening that when I woke up,I felt like I was coming back from the dead.

Maybe I was .

"You're awake",the voice  says...and somehow ,I knew I knew that voice,I just knew it but couldn't place it.

"Calm down...deep breaths,John",the voice coaxed .I did manage to calm myself down.

"Okay,okay,calm...but who  the fuck are you,why am I here?What did you do to me?!",I demanded of him.

"John Constantine,born May 10th,1953,died,unknown, disapeared from history...",he said .I could  hear pages turn,but still no one around.

"...or do you prefer this one,born March 12th 1980  died 2013 from...unknown causes...or perhaps is this one...",he said pausing.I meanwhile was trying to find the source of the voice but I was locked in that empty   room,a bedroom specifically... and he continued to speak...

"...John Constantine ,born  October 30th 1994 died December 25th 2016...I'm sorry,who commits suicide on Christmas? Yeah,that's definitely one for the books",he said,and  saying that made me freeze up because I remembered it.

I remembered wandering through the cold,climbing into a roof,I remember  being in Time Square...which I know I'm English,so what the fuck was I doin' state-side anyway?

(I know, now...I remember...I was a runaway..can't run further than out the country,right?)... I was  watching  the smiles,laughter cheers,and feeling empty inside...and I remember walking  to the edge,laughing..an "Well...Merry Christmas mutherfuckers"...and someone screamed that wasn't me...

And when I remembered all that,I laughed.Not because it was hilarious,but because it was ironic,yeah?

"You're right,Mr.Ghost ,or whoever you are.Bloody ironic,yeah? Happiest day of m'life ,best Christmas gift ever...and it  went to shit though...cuz if what you say is true,then I fucking survived it!",I said.

"You survived because the world isn't through with you",the ghost says.

"O'course it ain't.Fuck all what I want...fate's got me by the balls again",I said,and yes,it's true,so very true.

Then  my old pains were coming back,the pains from before,the things I'd seen,I'd done..some of it not even me but somebody like me maybe...

"My pa said I was born before all Hollows Eve  because m'just a bad omen.Why would my livin' be a good thing? Far as I can tell,we know each other,so maybe you can enlighten me on that",I said.

I really didn't want an answer though because I am so very tired of people consoling me,tellin'  me it's gonna be alright,cos once I fuck them over,by  accident or no,I'll be damned to burn for a thousand eternities and all those sweet words would mean nothing.

"I don't have an answer for that.And if I did,you either wouldn't like it,,shrug it   off  or reject it",the voice said...and he's so very right and I didn't like that...which is why I was checking around for a rope,something sharp...somethin' to finish the job for good.

"I know what you're thinking John...you want to finish the job.And that's not happening",the voice said.

"Why?!Why not,who the fuck are you to tell me  what to do!",I snapped.I was hysterical,I was on edge,and that out burst was most definitely out of character,but I was in a bad way then,so obviously I was acting out.

"Because I'm one of the people out there who actually gives two flying shits about you,that's why!Now get dressed and I'll explain to you what's going on ,on your way out",he said.

"Fine...fuck it!What choice do   I have?",I said ,because I just  had to get  the last word  in.

The drawers I wanted to get into magically opened now,thanks to 'the Voice'. I opened the drawers and closets,it was clear  that maybe a couple lived in this place--a couple and their son maybe? The clothes were 3 types,sexy goth wear for the lady (whoever she was,she  was clearly my type.Fishnets and lace,and leather on ladies always gave me a thrill).

The next set was all business for bloke #1 ,suits ,ties  and such,which is what I went for because honestly something tells me it'd be smart to stand out  as little as possible.I did wanna go for some of the son's things,cuz it was more my taste,biker jackets,studded bracelets ,torn jeans,band T's--but it  reminded me of something negative I didn't want to remember,something I  can't put my finger on so I left it.

But what drew me in the most was the beige trench coat hanging in the  closet.It was like the thing was calling me and I could feel the--magic? Or occultic energy or whatever we're calling it... so  I put the thing on and I felt like I was alive again.

The first thing i did then was reach in the pocket,took out  a pack of cigarettes and two very intricate looking zippo  lighters that I could  just feel buzzing with life (because according to a note from guy named Nick,the bloody  things  could summon hellfire ]. On the gold one"John" was crudely scratched  and for a moment,I  remember being handed something like this.

And the other one had "Nick".

The ghost then tells me there are two more,another for this Nick guy, and one for a lady friend of his.

That's how I found out about Zatanna,who was the owner of the lady clothes in the drawer and the lighter that was like ours but white and made electricity dance across my nerves when I touched it,like Nick's but devoid of the darkness.After all that,the voice told me that Zatanna would come looking  for me some day and that it was best that I found  her and gave her the lighter.According to him,she's the  type of person with a lot of love to give,and maybe,that's what I need right now--

She also appears to have a very high aptitude for magic,because the lighters I found were crafted by her,mind you,they can summon flames from the depths of hell.Maybe she can help me get the answers I need.

Me making a relevant update

 Oi,John Constantine here !

A lot of things has happened since I was gone...I mean a lot.Universe reboots,movies,all that good stuff.Not to mention me and some of my mates are starring in a new animated film  called "Justice League Dark" .And they want Matt Ryan to play me like he did on the show.I like him,he's cute,so I  don't mind really.

I don't know everyone in it but Ritchie ,he's  surprised that  he was asked about it ,despite the fact that he was in the Constantine television series,which surprise,surprise,brought us back together and we are on speaking terms again (that and the fact that a certain black magician along with the daughter of Trigon managed to pull Ritchie back into the real world and out of cyberspace.I didn't ask how they got his hands on a viable body,I always  feel better not asking about these things).

Beyond that,they're  also putting me in yet another comic series,Hellblazer:Rebirth which in my humble opinion is better a better read than the shit show the was the last one (Constantine the Hellblazer...my name's John.There are so many other Constantines out there!).

I find it very endearing that people find lil ol me interesting enough to make so many  works featuring me and whatnot,but I think some of em are missing some important things. I mean,I'm a bloody bastard ,but  really? I've mistakes,but I've either already made up fro them or am in the process of doing  so. ..but enough  of that. Right now I've got things to do so I'll bugger off for now.

Cheers!